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A toxic workplace culture was one of the biggest culprits behind the Great Resignation — which saw droves of workers leaving their jobs or switching careers during the post-pandemic era.
But since then, some companies are moving to the other extreme of “a culture of niceness,” and that could be just as damaging as toxicity, said one social psychologist.
“There has been a huge push around well-being and niceness at work, being kind, empathic and being caring — which are obviously good traits to have,” Tessa West, who is also a psychology professor at NYU, told CNBC Make It.
“But what ends up happening is, we’ve somehow pitted niceness against clear communication and confrontation, even when it’s necessary.”
Most would agree that a workplace is toxic when it is disrespectful, non-inclusive, unethical, cutthroat or abusive. The opposite of toxicity however, isn’t rainbows and sunshine — but a safe space for critical feedback and conversations, said West.
Knowing how to receive and give honest feedback is an “absolutely essential ingredient” for career development, she added.
“There’s this false dichotomy of: If you’re critical, that means you are toxic. Positive feedback? That’s what people want,” West said.
“But nice isn’t always better. Sometimes nice is a cop out.”
The tell-tale signs
For West, the biggest tell-tale sign of a “too nice” workplace is when there is an abundance of “friendly overtures.”
“Friendly overtures that are super generic that can be applied to anybody, like ‘They’re lovely. They’re great to work with.’ They don’t actually say anything,” she explained.
“That is the biggest red flag for a culture of niceness where people don’t feel the psychological safety to talk about strengths and weaknesses.”
Ironically, the biggest way to destroy psychological safety is through a culture of niceness, because you don’t really know what anyone actually thinks.
This may also lead to mediocrity, which bestselling author and Wharton psychologist Adam Grant considers one of the four deadly sins of work. Mediocrity is where individuals value relationships above results, he explained in a podcast.
“There’s no accountability. People are so worried about getting along that they end up forfeiting good work,” Grant added.
“In mediocracy, even if you do a terrible job, you can still get ahead as long as people like you.”
West added that a culture of niceness could also manifest in the form passive aggressiveness, where bad intentions are masked by smiles.
Or worse, if your manager is used to giving friendly overtures, any critical feedback that they receive from the C-suite is going to “feel like an avalanche of negativity.”
“Because these middle managers are not used to it at all, and they don’t know how to swallow it, it’s going to reduce their psychological certainty at work, it’s going to freak them out,” West said.
“They micromanage, they bulldoze, they do all that crap that we know is actually bad behavior at work. They’re going to be the worst case versions of themselves.”
Start with small asks
Ultimately, a culture of niceness creates uncertainty because no one and no workplace is “actually this positive,” said West.
“Ironically, the biggest way to destroy psychological safety is through a culture of niceness, because you don’t really know what anyone actually thinks,” she added.
West likens it to toxic positivity, which is the belief that people should always maintain a positive mindset — even in a bad situation.
Not only will a “too nice” workplace damage psychological safety, it can be detrimental to your career too.
“At the end of the day, none of us can improve without critical feedback — you won’t get better at your job and you won’t learn how to manage people better,” West explained.
“Critical feedback isn’t, ‘I don’t like what you did, this is bad.’ Critical feedback is, ‘This is the way that you did it. Let’s talk about how you can do it better.'”
If you want to break free from a culture of nice, West said you can start by asking for honest, constructive feedback for yourself.
Ask for things that people don’t find threatening, that don’t really violate the niceness norm.
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